This past weekend, I sat comfortably in my living room watching the decorative white lights twinkle on the Christmas tree. I was resting in the perfectly wonderful grey chair, positioned just right in front of the window, offering the perfect view of the neighborhood. I felt so cozy.

All of the sudden, I felt a creative itch settle in my body. It was time to paint! I have always loved painting and it just brings me joy to know I am doing something that offers me that. Sometimes all I need to do is relax and painting can bring that to me, it takes care of me. 

I carefully placed my water glass on the side-table next to the chair, got out my first-time-being-used glass paint palette, and set everything else up neatly and accessible. I crawled under the cozy blanket sitting idly on the back of the chair and began to brainstorm. 

What do I paint? What idea can I muster up and feel that it is easy and worthy enough to be displayed on a canvas forever? What do I want to put into existence? 

I scrolled through my camera-roll for inspiration and found a picture I had taken that morning of the sun cascading over a beautiful avocado. 

I put a lot of work into it and dedicated my time to perfecting every detail and mixing the perfect colors. After a while, when I wasn’t even finished I decided I didn’t like it and I moved on. 

But just before I painted over it I took a picture. I don’t know why I just didn’t want the photo to be forgotten even though I didn’t like it. 

I then decided to paint a cartoon cake. The cake is cute, it isn’t bad, but it isn’t what I wanted. I feel now that I should’ve appreciated the avocado painting more. 

Before I fell asleep that night, I looked back at the picture of the painting of the avocado, and I realized that I actually really liked it and it looked good for being painted in a realistic style – which I’m not used to. I like it because there are mistakes but I tried something new because of how much I loved the photo. I took my time and added detail even though I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing.

It did not have to be perfect because that’s not what it was about. I should not hold myself to the standard of expectation and when I painted over the avocado, I was giving into the opposite of that ideal. 

I need to learn to appreciate the things I already have, the mistakes that lead to growth and loving the imperfections life has to offer. I should’ve chosen to keep it. 

And I know, it’s just a silly painting. But still, even a silly painting has taught me something new.